Saturday, May 8, 2010

Florida Is Working Hard to Look As Racist As Arizona

Just when you thought Arizona's new policy of detaining anyone with a tan was bad, in steps a congressional candidate from Florida.

Dan Fanelli (R-Idiot) has a campaign ad that depicts two darker skinned men speaking Arabic and discussing a plot that presumably involves raping our babies. Fanelli is then shown between one of the men and a white guy, and asks which one looks more like a terrorist.

It's a trick question. The definition of terrorism is "the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes." So the guy trying to scare voters into electing him is clearly the terrorist.

Here's the whole video. Hopefully it's still up, since most of the copies of it have been pulled off the internet for "copyright infringement."
I wonder if he used any threats or intimidation to make that happen.

My favorite part of the video is that Fanelli jokes that he wouldn't mind being pulled out of line at the airport if "a good looking, ripped guy without much hair was flying airplanes into the twin towers."

Ahh, nothing like mocking the deaths of thousands of people to win over the voters. Also, good looking and ripped? In case you didn't watch the video, here is Fanelli:

Yes, Mr. Turtle, you're quite handsome. "Without much hair" is also the least self-deprecating way to say "bald guy." He should be happy he doesn't have a spire on his head, or he and the Capitol would look like twins. If Fanelli can't tell the difference between himself and a good-looking guy, he probably can't tell the difference between a Saudi Arabian and someone from the Jersey Shore.

The strangest part of all of this is that they actually got two guys to play the Arabs in the commercial. How desperate are some people to be actors? That's got to be a great Craigslist ad:

"Small commercial role for an Arab actor. Large, menacing, and willing to betray his entire race. Must be SAG."

As an aside, I would like to stand outside Arizona Governor Jan Brewer's office and ask for her immigration papers, claiming she looks Canadian.

Today's Lessons: You should not vote for Dan Fanelli. Do not take a picture next to a domed building when you're bald.


  1. Steve, I have to disagree with you on Arizona. The law states if you're caught breaking the law - IE: Speeding - and can't prove you're a legal citizen, then you can be deported, the way all illegal aliens are suppose to be. This applies to ALL illegal aliens - the ones from China, Russia, even England. They can't pull you over for nothing. You have to be drunk or speeding or high. You have to have stolen something.

    Sorry, it just bugs me that people keep misquoting the law. Besides, there are illegal aliens from every country in the world. I bet if you looked you'd even find some from France or even Israel.

    My vocal coach was telling me about a young female comedian he heard on the radio who was talking about how people kept telling her she should make speeches about how proud she is to be a Mexican. She kept telling people "I can't!" and they kept pressuring her otherwise. Finally she said, "I can't! I'm from PERU!"

  2. This is the most awkward thing. Ever.

  3. Actually Jami, that's only part of the law. The state issued fact sheet also says "Allows a law enforcement officer, without a warrant, to arrest a person if the officer has probable cause to believe that the person has committed any public offense that makes the person removable from the U.S."

    That's a violation of the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 9th, and 10th amendments.

  4. Holy Crap. That commercial looks like a bad SNL parody from "the lost years."

    It actually would work - if you had Dennis Miller as the candidate, Adam Sandler as the terrorist, and Some intern as the old white guy. Would not need to change a word of dialog.

  5. Steve,

    The idea is to remove illegal immigrants. The United States Constitution does not apply to foreigners. US Citizens are required to cary identification at all times already. If you can think of a better way to remove them I would love to hear it.

  6. mshatswell - that may be the idea, but it's not what the law says. The law gives police the right to search anyone they SUSPECT is committing a crime. If they wanted to make the law work AND not violate civil rights, they could simply make it anyone convicted of a crime.

    Also, no, Americans do not have to carry ID. I was 24 before I got my driver's license (yay, NYC) and I never had to carry a thing.

  7. The way I read it you already have to have committed a crime or the police wouldn't be looking at you. A crime serious enough to get you kicked out of the US is no parking violation. =) Here in California we can be cited for not carying id if you're 16 years of age or older. At any rate, every time I have had a run in with law enforcement I have had to prove who I was or "go down to the station."

  8. Quote from the law's own fact sheet: "Allows a law enforcement officer, without a warrant, to arrest a person if the officer has probable cause to believe that the person has committed any public offense that makes the person removable from the U.S." i.e. if they suspect that they're here illegally, for whatever made up reason, the cops can stop them.

  9. I suppose it could be twisted that way, but the way it is supposed to be read is "they need probable cause to question you" which sounds like the same rule I am subject to. No probable cause, no questioning, no arrest.

  10. And if we lived in a world where ever cop was honest and treated everyone like equals, it would be read that way. But I was stopped in South Dakota three times in one day just because I had New York plates. I can't imagine I'm the only one that has ever been profiled by the police.

  11. Police bend laws to suit their needs daily regardless of ethnicity. If it is uniform for everyone, why are we focused on 1 group?

  12. I'm not focused on one group - you are. This allows police in Arizona to detain ANYONE "suspected." And while, predictably, it will most commonly be used against people of Latino descent, it can be used against any of us.

  13. If that is the case, why the focus on Arizona law. Why not focus on Racial Profiling in general, at the Federal Level? Why was this discussion not started when you were pulled over 3 times in 1 day? Let's not kid ourselves. This discussion is all about how to legally do what the Federal Government has failed to do for decades, hense the law in Arizona.


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