Thursday, May 14, 2009

If History Had Twitter's 140 Character Limit

I have a dream that everyone was treated equally and I sure hope it happens.

A long time ago, older people founded our country. Don't forget all the cool stuff our military has done. Now please go free your slaves.

We the people of the United States of America, are really freakin tired of the British.

@Friends, @Romans, @Countrymen. Caesar was a dick but I miss the guy. Brutus was a bigger dick. 

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. So stop being wieners. Come on guys, buy things.

Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Thanks for the support. Red Sox suck!

@Europe Slow your roll. Don't make us come over there. We got bombs.

I'm god, no one else is. Take a day off and don't say my name. Don't kill, steal, lie, covet, or cheat on anyone. And call your parents.