tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22149002756507613732024-03-15T17:20:43.309-07:00Chinese Food and TVA blog about the funner things in life.Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.comBlogger170125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-42737846889876494542020-05-28T13:53:00.001-07:002020-05-28T13:53:52.751-07:00<span data-offset-key="5kur-0-0"><span data-text="true">Patience is more important than talent.</span></span>Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-83541784167283737172020-04-22T09:06:00.001-07:002020-04-22T09:06:38.740-07:00New York“Things aren’t so great in New York City. They no longer have planes and trains and cars. Please don’t walk here. Sincerely, Delilah.”Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-34773074972939669902020-04-22T00:24:00.001-07:002020-04-22T00:24:35.830-07:00GladI am so glad that earthquake didn’t happen on the one day in my life I was high.Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-20369645737504798032020-04-15T10:16:00.003-07:002020-04-15T10:16:56.085-07:00Holy hell, so many of you have been sending kind words to @Watchgang on IG that they decided to fund a 2nd grant. They just sent
ANOTHER $1K to the Martin Foundation, which will go directly towards out
of work comedians. (If you wanna keep thanking them, please do!)Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-55383402400957036922020-04-07T12:46:00.001-07:002020-04-07T12:46:18.498-07:00NamesWhen I have to spell "Hofstetter" over the phone, it usually takes a few tries. Today was a first - I had to spell "Steve" 4 times before the guy got it.Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-31042758915646182652020-04-04T11:12:00.002-07:002020-04-04T11:12:59.431-07:00CaulkThere was a crack in the seal below my toilet, so water started leaking. I caulked it and it worked, and I am both disproportionately proud and also have a huge desire to go around my house and seal stuff.Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-18946323309060058062020-04-01T12:31:00.002-07:002020-04-01T12:31:38.352-07:00Holy hell, I have sold 135 tickets for my online stand-up show in under an hour, and climbing. And the Australians aren't even awake yet! Assuming the tech works the way we've tested it, we may have found a new way for comedians to tour. https://www.eventbrite.com/o/nowhere-comedy-club-30049882972Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-26050071381875530242020-04-01T00:44:00.003-07:002020-04-01T00:44:44.228-07:00Last year, I found a genie. Since I'm a touring comedian, I wished for gas under $1 a gallon, no traffic anywhere, and millions of people bored at home, desperately wanting a night out. That genie is an asshole.Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-66047163061671961232020-03-27T20:19:00.001-07:002020-03-27T20:19:54.486-07:00One dayI see so many people on social media writing about how bored they are. Some of these same people used to talk about how one day they’d write a novel or clean the garage or learn Spanish. Well, it’s one day, mother fucker. Ante up. Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-82818943310538687692020-03-26T15:00:00.002-07:002020-03-26T15:00:22.862-07:00CensusMaybe this is not the best time to be sending out census forms to bored couples stuck at home. "How many people in my household? You mean currently or in 9 months?"Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-78021681459649719592020-03-24T13:18:00.003-07:002020-03-24T13:18:54.690-07:00TwitchI'm going to be doing some streaming on Twitch, too. If you're there, give me a follow. https://www.twitch.tv/stevehofstetterSteve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-41052504097640724432020-03-20T19:16:00.001-07:002020-03-20T19:16:47.381-07:00TestsHow exactly does a coronavirus test work? Is it a mouth swab or a needle, and at what point do they ask you your net worth?Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-82404681007832414822020-03-20T09:19:00.003-07:002020-03-20T09:19:34.494-07:00Dear "Steps" app. Shut the fuck up. Now is not the time. Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-74937539531829660092020-03-18T22:42:00.001-07:002020-03-18T22:42:56.091-07:00ScaredThe thing that scares me the most about all of this is seeing my screen time report. Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-30809141329076478752020-03-18T10:28:00.001-07:002020-03-18T10:28:20.738-07:00Posting<span data-offset-key="3okj-0-0"><span data-text="true">I picked a pretty good time to be 4 months ahead in my content schedule. I will still be posting new videos to my YouTube and Facebook 6 days a week. If you would have bought a ticket to a show, just share my content with your friends. It's free, and helps just as much. </span></span>Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-55258006541213520992020-03-18T08:54:00.001-07:002020-03-18T08:54:40.277-07:00There will<span data-offset-key="osgb-0-0"><span data-text="true">There will come a day where I'll have a bad-smelling uber driver during rush hour traffic to LAX, where an hour line leads to the TSA grabbing my balls so I can make my delayed flight with a middle seat before a rental car mix-up. And I will be smiling the entire time.</span></span>Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-29542587242871322812020-03-17T20:18:00.001-07:002020-03-17T20:18:48.473-07:00Oh. No. I was just thinking I was getting a handle on this quarantine thing and then my neighbor decided now would be a great time to start learning how to play piano. Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-43676031625517719722020-03-16T19:25:00.001-07:002020-03-16T19:25:53.360-07:00DogsYou know all those apocalyptic movies where the heroes have their trusty dog friend? Gotta be tough when the dog needs to poop and there are zombies, like, right outside. Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-51631207565988051852020-03-16T15:27:00.004-07:002020-03-16T15:27:53.983-07:00SpoonsI dated a woman who made fun of me for owning my own set of ramen spoons. "When would you ever have occasion to eat that much soup at home?" Well, checkmate.Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-19850999528720007542020-03-16T13:00:00.001-07:002020-03-16T13:00:47.909-07:00InvestingIs there an online therapy website looking for investors? In two weeks, y’all are going to be making more than Netflix.Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-7260603122309431762020-03-11T05:45:00.002-07:002020-03-11T05:45:44.596-07:00Coronavirus has got people acting crazy. You can't even sneeze directly into a buffet anymore without everyone freaking out. Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-447910053953938652020-03-10T17:35:00.001-07:002020-03-10T17:35:52.606-07:00NamesGot to a charity gig after the show started and saw the host outside. “Anything I should know about the crowd?” “Yeah. Their names are Gina, Ed, Ellen, Manny, and Cheryl.” Well, away we go. 😂Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-54658565911717641562020-03-10T15:59:00.000-07:002020-03-10T15:59:03.847-07:00I know this is a radical idea, but maybe...just maybe...there is a middle ground between "this virus is a hoax perpetuated by the media!" and "LETS NEVER LEAVE OUR HOUSES AGAIN AND ENSURE WE DESTROY THE ECONOMY!!!111"Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-26185610545594752432020-03-10T08:04:00.002-07:002020-03-10T08:04:52.062-07:00I say this as a sober person: How the hell is the voting age 18, but you can't drink til you're 21? Have you seen some of the shit we have to choose between? There should be beer handed out at voting booths.Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214900275650761373.post-42716722274837371802020-03-07T10:14:00.001-08:002020-03-07T10:14:22.873-08:00UniversalVery impressed with humanity right now. I’ve already been at Universal Studios for an hour and I’ve only seen one woman pretend her adult son was mentally challenged to skip a four-person line. Steve Hofstetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02193342742132294367noreply@blogger.com0