Twitch

I'm going to be doing some streaming on Twitch, too. If you're there, give me a follow. https://www.twitch.tv/stevehofstetter

Tests

‪How exactly does a coronavirus test work? Is it a mouth swab or a needle, and at what point do they ask you your net worth?‬

Dear "Steps" app. Shut the fuck up. Now is not the time.

Scared

The thing that scares me the most about all of this is seeing my screen time report. 

Posting

I picked a pretty good time to be 4 months ahead in my content schedule. I will still be posting new videos to my YouTube and Facebook 6 days a week. If you would have bought a ticket to a show, just share my content with your friends. It's free, and helps just as much.

There will

There will come a day where I'll have a bad-smelling uber driver during rush hour traffic to LAX, where an hour line leads to the TSA grabbing my balls so I can make my delayed flight with a middle seat before a rental car mix-up. And I will be smiling the entire time.

Oh. No.

I was just thinking I was getting a handle on this quarantine thing and then my neighbor decided now would be a great time to start learning how to play piano. 

Dogs

You know all those apocalyptic movies where the heroes have their trusty dog friend? Gotta be tough when the dog needs to poop and there are zombies, like, right outside. 

Spoons

I dated a woman who made fun of me for owning my own set of ramen spoons. "When would you ever have occasion to eat that much soup at home?" Well, checkmate.

Investing

Is there an online therapy website looking for investors? In two weeks, y’all are going to be making more than Netflix.